We're Not Gonna Take It!
by Wednesdayite13
Summary: Because of a faulty time machine, Shockwave and Vampirella end up in Camelot. With magic like powers, how long will they last? Especially with their...ahem...undercover names courtesy of Vampirella's love for Russian vodka
1. Chapter 1

"Perfect. Do you even know where we are?"

"Yes. We're somewhere...in a place..."

"Oh wow, thanks. I never would have guessed."

"Well you don't know where we are either!"

"I'm not the one who crashed here!"

"Well at least I **can **fly!"

"Oh you mean Buzz Lightyear's style of flying?"

The two lost trespassers looked around and made a mental note of everything they saw. Trees. Lots and lots of trees. Well that didn't really narrow it down.

What had happened was Perceptor had made some adjustments to Vampirella's time machine, the Iron Ferret, so she and Shockwave took it for a test spin. By adjustments...well...he fixed it. Vampirella was practically a Wrecker wannabe; brilliant at breaking things. She was a medic, so technically she should be better at fixing things. She wasn't. They were aiming for the Stuart era but, evidently, they didn't make it.

What made it worse was the army of knights approaching them.

Wait.

Knights? Wearing...red capes. One of the knights didn't have any sleeves. What was the point in that?

"State your name and business here." One of them said. He had sort of between blonde and very light brown hair. He had such a nice smile, Vampirella noted.

"I'm Kremlyovskaya and that's Stolichnaya." She said, gesturing to Shockwave who rolled his optics. "We were picking up some supplies when we got lost."

"What supplies?" Asked the sleeveless knight.

"Some rare herbs." It was the first thing Vampirella could think of. If there's one thing she learned in her history lessons it's that no matter what time period you're in, herbs never fail.

The first knight who noticed how pale these two were, not to mention Shockwave was really tired from Vampirella keeping him up all night by rocking out to Twisted Sister. "When was the last time you ate?"

Shockwave turned to Vampirella. "Yes, _Kremlyovskaya,_ when was the last time we ate?"

"Erm...a bit ago? Like...few days?" Clearly, in this time period, the people had no idea who she really was...and she wanted to keep it that way.

"Then you must come back and dine with us." He said. "How does that sound?"

Vampirella smiled. "Great?"

* * *

"Are we really doing this?"

Vampirella and Shockwave walked a fair bit behind the knights as they entered the giant gates to...they had no idea where.

"What?"

Shockwave sighed with annoyance. "Kremylovskaya I understand. Your undercover name, fine. But what in the pit am I supposed to be?"

Vampirella shrugged, as if it was nothing. "Stolichnaya."

"Well clearly the Russian's haven't introduced their vodka yet. I can't even pronounce my own name."

"Stolichnaya." Vampirella repeated. "It's easy!"

"Maybe it's easy for you! You have at least a little Russian coding. I'm purely evil British. The only thing missing is a cute fluffy cat to stroke and a spinny chair."

"What is up today?!"

Shockwave stopped walking and stopped in front of Vampirella. "What's up?! You had We're Not Gonna Take It on a loop for 8 megacycles. Then you drag me on a test run for a dodgy time machine that doesn't work because you spilled cornflakes in the controls. You don't even like cornflakes! Now I'm Primus knows where, stuck with you, with a name I can't even say!"

"Is everything OK back there?" One of the knights shouted back.

His optics never left Vampirella as he replied. "Yes." He turned and walked on, leaving a very shocked and surprised Vampirella to catch up.

* * *

They were taken through huge doors into what looked like a throne room. "Sire, we found these two alone in the woods. They say they haven't eaten in days." Said the sleeveless one.

The man sat on the throne stood up slowly. "Where are you two from?"

What could they say? They couldn't tell them the truth. _Oh yeah we're alien robots from the planet Cybertron. Don't worry, we were the bad guys but we're reformed now. _Bolsover? That's where their current location on Earth was. Would that work? What if these people didn't know Bolsover? Both Charles II **and **Cromwell went to Bolsover once so it's historical...But it wasn't always called that. It would help if they knew what time period they were.

Vampirella settled for Bolsover. It sounds good enough. "A place called Bolsover. It's pretty far away from here."

"I have never heard of it. And how did you get to Camelot?"

Camelot? They were in Camelot. No way. Shockwave's optics widened, but not in amazement. Worry. Their powers would been seen as magic to these people. Clearly, that had bypassed Vampirella's processor as she didn't share the same look.

"Camelot. I genuinely cannot remember...we were just...there."

* * *

The knights showed the two Cybertronian's to a room for the night. How long they will actually end up spending there, they had no idea.

"Camelot. We're in Camelot!" Shockwave yelled, anger growing as Vampirella's expression remained the same. "CAMELOT! Hello?! In case you haven't noticed, our powers look like magic!"

"Don't worry about it. We won't let them know. We just need to find someway of contacting Cybertron and then we can get out of here!"

"Fine. But when it gets cold in the night and you're caught using your fire powers to keep yourself warm, don't say I didn't warn you." It was a well known fact that Fibromyalgia, or whatever Vampirella had, was a whole lot worse in the cold. This is why she **had **to keep warm.

She smirked and reached into her pocket, pulling out a mini hot water bottle. "All I need to do is boil the water."

Shockwave groaned and fell on to the bed. This was going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry shoulda mentioned this is Humanized.**

**Stella Cycles = years**

**Megacycles = hours**

**Cycles = minutes**

**klik = second**

**That's all you need to know**

* * *

"Leon! Who are these two new arrivals father told me about?" The young prince asked.

"Oh, Kremlyovskaya and Stolichnaya." Leon informed Arthur. Kremlyovskaya and Stolichnaya? What kinds of names were those?

"They're...not from around here?"

"No, they say they are from a place called Bolsover."

Arthur had never heard of it. "Why are they here?"

Leon shrugged. "They got lost. That's all they said."

_Hmm, sounds suspicious_ Arthur thought.

* * *

Vampirella looked outside the window to see a young, blonde man talking to one of the knights. "Oh he's nice."

"You have a sparkmate!" Shockwave shouted, still unmoving on the comfy organic bed. _Seriously, our berths are so uncomfortable compared to this. It's cosy._

"Your point being?"

Shockwave groaned and turned to his face was in the pillow. "Kill me now."

"I wonder what they're talking about."

"Hmm, let me use my psychic powers...oh wait, that's you!"

Vampirella turned back to her friend with a confused expression. "Huh?"

Shockwave sat up. "Do you want me to spell it out for you? Psychic powers. **PSYCHIC POWERS!****"**

"I'm psychic!"

"Oh well done Sherlock." Shockwave flopped back onto the bed. "Oh and if you think we're sharing, you can forget it."

"His name's Arthur. The knight is Sir Leon...Wait, that's Arthur? As in the legendary Arthur? The one who Horrible Histories said didn't exist?"

"What are they talking about?"

"Us...Ha, Leon can say your fake name."

"Oh wow, a knight of Camelot can pronounce a Russian vodka. Yipee."

* * *

It was later now. It was dark out. Shockwave fell asleep before Vampirella, so she shape-shifted into a black cat and jumped up beside Shockwave. She then slowly walked towards him up to the point she was, in cat form, stood on top of him, pawing sharply at him. He wouldn't wake up, so she moved closer and purred really loudly. Still nothing. She slowly extended her paw and scratched at his face, but he just groaned in his sleep and turned.

"MEOW!"

"AAH!" He said up as if he just had a zombie filled nightmare. "What gives?!"

She returned to her normal form and sat on the edge of the bed, swinging her legs, with a look of triumph on her face. "You awake?"

"Why I never scrapped you years ago, I will never know."

Vampirella smiled and laid back, snuggling up to him. "Coz you love me too much."

Shockwave hugged her back with an evil look on his face. "The way the black widow loves her mate? Sure." He chuckled to himself when he felt Vampirella stiffen.

* * *

"Why do I even do time travel?" Vampirella asked, but mainly to herself. She was still snuggled up to Shockwave. "I mean it was bad enough with my dimension jumper thing that needed a better name. I mean I ended up in all those random places. I met an evil, dragonfly Jetstorm and an Australian Jetfire. I met a normal speeded Blurr and a Mirage who everyone thought was a traitor...oh wait, that happened in our dimension too." Shockwave chuckled a little, still listening to his younger relation. "I didn't see you guys for four stella cycles but I was only missing for 20 cycles."

"Now we're in a legendary place where magic is banned." Shockwave continued for her. "I mean we're not even magic. I wonder what would happen if we told them the truth."

"Truth is, we're not really from Bolsover. We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron. But you can call us Autobots for...no that's not gonna work. We are deceptive...that's it."

"So that's why they're called Autobots? Stupid me for thinking it was because they transform into automobiles." Shockwave joked. "Anyway, Decepticon sounds better. We deceptive and we con ya."

Vampirella nodded as if Shockwave had just given a true statement. "I know right?"

* * *

It was morning. Everything was quiet. There wasn't so much as a cloud in the sky. Nice. Peaceful. Quiet.

"Merlin!"

"Coming."

"In your own time!"

Merlin pretty much ran around gathering Arthur's fighting gear, having just cleaned and polished them. "You just want to show off to the new arrivals don't you?" Merlin handed the prince his freshly cleaned sword.

"That. Is ridiculous." Arthur retorted, before twirling the sword in the air. "There's nothing wrong with a little sparring match now and again."

"Did you invite them to watch?"

Arthur held his sword firmly. "Only to make them feel more welcome."

"Ah, I see." Merlin smirked.

* * *

"A sparring match? That's too gladiatorial like." The sound of watching Arthur and the knights spar was a little off putting for Shockwave, but Vampirella couldn't be more than keen.

"Aww come on! We haven't been to a gladiterestrial fight in ages!" Vampirella begged Shockwave to go with her.

"With good reason!"

"Aww come on Shockwave! Please? I will turn into a puppy and do the eyes."

"Don't."

"I will."

"Don't you dare."

She used her shape-shifting powers to turn into a King Charles Spaniel, before looking up to Shockwave and doing the irresistible puppy eyes.

He gave a sigh of defeat. "Fine! Anyway, it's a lot safer than gladiterestrial fights. It's unlikely anyone will die."

"Aw that's too bad."


	3. Chapter 3

Vampirella and Shockwave were enjoying the match. A dark haired woman walked up to them. "Hello. You must be...erm...I'm sorry..."

"Kremlyovskaya."

"Stolichnaya." Shockwave had to resist a little _yes I said it _triumph.

"I am Morgana. It is nice to meet you."

Vampirella smiled. "Nice to meet you too I like your cloak I want one." Morgana had a velvet, dark green cloak. Green seemed to be her colour.

Morgana smiled herself and said. "I must be going but I hope to meet up again."

"Sure. We'll see you again soon."

When she left, Shockwave leaned in towards Vampirella. "I don't trust her."

"Neither do I."

* * *

Next up was Arthur vs an unnamed challenger. This person had long, dark hair covering most of his face. There were noticeable scars across the small parts of his face that were visible, and most likely some more hiding behind his greasy hair.

It looked like an interesting fight.

After a while, it was unclear who was going to win. The man threw his sword past Arthur, obviously deliberately. Where was he going with this?

"That was a little random." Vampirella commented, but after getting no reply she turned to see the shock of her life. "Shockwave?"

In the background, she noticed the knights restraining the man before taking him presumably to the dungeons or something.

It was a good job that Vampirella was good at her job. She was the Decepticon interrogator before joining the Autobots and becoming a Prime in the Elite Guard. Shockwave's servos, covering the wound, were already covered in blood. They were human almost now, they bled instead of leaking energon. Being a vampire, Vampirella had to restrain herself. Shockwave was AB+, Vampirella favourite blood group.

But she couldn't think about that now. Shockwave was near death, she had to do something. Even if it meant revealing her powers to the whole of Camelot. It wasn't like they belonged there anyway.

Vampirella quickly pulled the sword and placed her servos over the wound to slow down the bleeding. "OK just...just hold on..."

"You can't-" Shockwave gasped as he fell to the floor. "-use your powers."

"I have to!"

"You can't!"

Merlin saw and ran up to them, Gaius following. Seeing the amount of blood lost, Vampirella regretted pulling the sword. If someone's been stabbed, you shouldn't pull the object out. She knew that. As a Cybertronian field medic, Vampirella would naturally pull out the object and begin work straight away. It nearly always worked for her. It came naturally to her, she was still trying to get to grips on the humanization that took place recently.

* * *

Vampirella leaned towards Shockwave and whispered "You owe me big time." before extending her servo and...

The wound closed and Shockwave's colour returned. Both Gaius and Merlin watched in amazement. Did she just...

Almost immediately, Shockwave regained consciousness. "Oh woah what?"

"You just healed him." Merlin stated.

Vampirella turned and stood defensively. "I'm not a sorceresses if that's what you're getting at!"

"But if you do not possess magic, how did you-" Gaius began.

"We're deceptive robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron." Vampirella said quickly.

"But you can call us Decepticons for short." Shockwave continued, still a little weak but otherwise OK.

The two humans just blinked and stared.

What did they just say?

None of that made any sense.

* * *

"We're part of a team of elite...people. I don't know, I wanted a hammer." Vampirella explained.

Sensing their confusion, Shockwave explained. "Leader gets a hammer." Why, he had no idea. The Magnus hammer was just a...thing.

Gaius pulled Merlin away for a moment. "We cannot keep this a secret."

"Gaius, they're just lost."

"They're...they're not human, Merlin."

Hearing the conversation, Vampirella turned to Shockwave. "Operation: Sympathy is a go."

When they returned to them, Vampirella and Shockwave tried their best to look sad and scared. "S-Still no signal." Shockwave cried.

"It's OK, we'll get back somehow."

"How?! They don't know where we are. Our time machine is dead. How is this OK?!"

Being a trained spy, Shockwave was an absolutely brilliant actor. One thing he was great at was making people feel sorry for him. He could fake cry whenever he needed to.

And right now, he needed to.

Vampirella hugged him. "Hey you know us. We can get out of this. I mean when my dimension jumping thing died, I got back didn't I?"

"By accident."

"True but-"

"Face it, we're stuck here!" He burst out crying. Well, fake crying.

Merlin and Gaius walked up to them, Gaius put a hand on Shockwave's shoulder. "Would it help if we...kept this between us?"

Shockwave looked up and nodded, but never actually made eye contact. He was really good at this.

Vampirella also looked up and smiled. "Thank you."

"We will give you some time alone." Gaius said as he and Merlin left the two alone.

Shockwave immediately pulled away from Vampirella and wiped his tears. "How was that?"

"You were great." Vampirella complimented.

"Thank you...Really though, how will we get back?"

Vampirella shrugged. "I have no idea...but that's the fun of it, isn't it?"

Shockwave laughed a little. "True. Seriously though, you need to learn how to cry."


End file.
